Asking For Help
by luckypixi
Summary: Ianto asks for help after the events of Cyberwoman. Just a one shot, please review and tell me what you think xxx


**Going back in time here. This is set when Ianto comes off his suspension after Cyberwoman. Enjoy!**

Jack stood at the glass windows of the boardroom and looked down at the Hub and its inhabitants. He could see Tosh busily dissecting some alien tech at her workstation and Gwen was lying on the battered old sofa under the Torchwood logo, reading files and doodling in the margins. He craned his neck and sure enough he saw Owen pottering about in his autopsy bay, apparently looking for something. The one person he couldn't see though, was Ianto. The young man had recently come back off his suspension after the 'Lisa Event' and Jack had noticed he was even more subdued than normal. Wandering around silently, only speaking when he was spoken to. Jack wasn't surprised; he hadn't expected him to ping back to normality after just two weeks.

As if on cue Ianto walked out from the armoury, which was under the boardroom and cut across the main Hub, heading to the autopsy bay. Jack frowned. It wasn't like Ianto to go and seek the doctor out. He scurried away to his office, arousing the attention of Gwen and Tosh, who followed him into his office and stood over him as he turned on the CCTV to the autopsy bay. They leaned forward intently to make out the words.

_In the autopsy bay-_

Owen looked up as Ianto made his presence known. 'What do you want teaboy?' he asked harshly. 'Some of us have got work to do'

Ianto nodded apologetically. 'I'm sorry to ask you, but there is no one else.' He broke off and looked around, as if embarrassed.

'What?' Owen was getting concerned now. What was up with the Welshman?

'You see.' He broke off again and his voice faltered. Owen moved closer to him and gestured for him to sit down on a chair. Ianto didn't move.

'Come on Ianto. What's wrong?'

'Owen I don't think I can cope anymore.'

Owens eyebrow's shot up into his hairline. _Oh dear_. 'What do you mean, "cope" '

'All I ever lived for after Canary Wharf was Lisa. And now she's gone. What have I got left?' Ianto looked bleary eyed up at Owen.

Owen didn't know what to say.

_In Jack's office-_

'Oh my God' breathed Gwen. 'I had no idea he felt like that.'

'No one did' Jack felt his heart break. How could he miss something like this? _Again. _Ianto looked after them on a daily basis and no one looked out for him. What kind of friends, colleagues were they?

_In the autopsy bay-_

Owen could feel himself getting angry. 'So your planning on taking the easy option then?' He looked at Ianto, hoping to get a reaction, to find out what was going on in that head of his.

Ianto looked sadly at him.

'Your just gonna give up and leave all this, your life, your friends-'

'Friends?' Ianto exclaimed. 'What friends. None of you can bear to look at me, let alone talk to me. Jack only speaks to me because he wants to tell himself that he's done something to help. The only one who has been remotely nice to me is Tosh. That's it. One out of four. My friend.'

'So your plan was to come down here and harp on at me about feeling sorry for yourself, moaning about not having any friends and expect me to, what? What do you expect me to do?' he pushed Ianto on the shoulder to emphasise the point and the Welshman stumbled back from the shove.

'I want you to help me Owen!' he shouted. 'I don't want to feel like this! I don't want to die. But it's the only option I see at the moment. I thought you, being a doctor would understand.'

'How the hell do you expect me to understand! You don't speak to anyone, we're not physic you know!' Owen shouted back.

'Ok I'll tell you how I feel!' cried Ianto. 'I haven't slept properly for about a month because of the nightmares. I wake up screaming at nothing, covered in sweat at one in the morning and I don't sleep again for at least 48 hours!-'

He saw Jack walk down the steps to stand next to him. 'Ok, Ianto' he said softly, putting his hand on his arm.

'No.' Ianto stepped away from him, now noticing the girls standing with Owen. 'I want him to understand.' He spoke directly to Owen. 'I cant eat anything because every time I do I'm sick. I can just about keep down water. I've had to buy smaller suits because the others are too big. If I stand up for too long I feel like I'm about to faint. I cant even spend time in my flat because everything reminds me of her. I cant go down into the vaults because all I can see is her body, blood everywhere and I cant cope anymore!' He shouted. He was shaking and a single tear ran down his face. 'So, this is me asking for help. Please Owen. Professionally, not as a friend. I need it. Or I might do something stupid. I thought things would get better after I came back here, to a familiar place, familiar people. But it hasn't. I just feel more lonely than before because at least then you all seemed to superficially like me. But not anymore. Now none of you can bear to look at me.'

He stopped and looked at them and then looked down at his feet. 'Not that I blame you'

'Ianto it's not like that sweetheart' started Gwen. She was shaking with emotion. 'It's just hard. You know-'

'I understand Gwen. What I did was wrong. And now I think about it, very stupid, but it was a spur of a moment thing. I found her in the rubble. I'd battled through the blood and the bodies and I thought, if I find her and she is still alive, I'll be damned if i'm letting her go. So I had to try. For her. And so many people suffered because of what I did. She did. You all did. I did.' He looked at Jack. 'I'm sorry.'

Jack reached forward and touched his arm. 'I know' he whispered. Ianto sniffed and looked at Owen.

'So will you help me? Please?'

Owen looked uncertain, but nodded. 'If I can. But your gonna have to come clean about everything. '

Ianto nodded. 'Thank you' he croaked his voice clogged with emotion. Tosh run forwards and enveloped him in a hug, which he accepted.

Jack stepped backwards and nodded at Owen and Gwen, who moved away and up the stairs. He waited until Tosh was finished and motioned for her to move away as well. He moved closer to Ianto. 'I had no idea' he said softly. Ianto looked at him.

'You weren't meant to.' He stated. Jack reached out and took his hand.

'We'll help you. I promise.' Ianto smiled.

'Thank you'

**Also a remedy for my major writers block. Please review, please let me know what you think**


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